Last month we talked about January being a traditional time for deciding to change things in our lives. We looked at some of the aspects of change and impacts of change in our lives. February is the Valentine Love Month focus. Our most important focus of our love of course is to love God. We thought that it was appropriate to align our focus this month on the second most important kind of love: self love. Inherent in this command is the understanding that we already love ourselves and now we are to love others in the same manner.

One of the most common blocks to healing is inability to love oneself. Personally and professionally, it is my experience that an individual is incapable of really loving others until they develop the capacity to genuinely love themselves.

You may be in disagreement at the previous statement. I realize that many people appear to act loving to themselves and others. Often those actions are not healthy for themselves. They may be agreeing to do loving acts for others at their own expense. They may be losing valuable sleep to help another or spending money which they do not have to spare for a worthy cause. They may be saying “yes” to give time and energy for some other person or cause which they, themselves must have in order to accomplish their responsibilities in life in a balanced healthy way.

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The problem is that they do not have pure motivations. They may be “nice” to others and go out of their way to help, but the motivations are so that people will like them or they will benefit in some financial or social status etc. way. The actions are not basically out of love for the other person and desiring their best. The motivation is impure because it is all about getting something for themselves.

Healing for the fragmented person requires getting to know all of themselves, accepting all of themselves, provide healing for all and to be lovingly willing to fully receive or integrate all of the aspects of themselves into one who functions in unity as people are originally designed to do. I encourage you to forgive yourself as God forgives you, and to embrace yourself in loving acceptance.