Why is Safety So Important?
Categorised in: Insights
If you are busy being on guard and trying to protect yourself, the healing process will be greatly slowed down or at times, even stopped. You have an internal radar system that was designed to warn you of danger, but it may be warped, overactive, or you may have stopped listening to it. Give yourself permission to feel, to listen, and to trust yourself. Help your spirit, mind, and emotions work together to discern what is safe and what is not. Ask your Heavenly Father for wisdom and truth. Also, ask Him to block or bind lies and anything demonic.
If you are busy being on guard trying to protect yourself, the healing process will be greatly slowed down, or at times, even stopped.
Start with your environment, as that is the simplest area in which to learn safety. Look around your home and work place and ask yourself if anything feels uncomfortable or even questionable. Get rid of it immediately. Even if it has a “sentimental” attachment or is from a relative, it is not worth keeping around if it slows your healing process.
Some people feel “weird” proximal or near a piece of furniture or a picture. One client had a beautiful ornamental heirloom piece in her entrance hall. It was a problem. When she tried to remove it to another location for a healing time, there was great resistance within her to do so. She reported this in a counseling session. She decided to ask her husband and a friend intercessor to pray with her about it. They did and felt inspired to turn it upside down. They found a significant occult sign engraved into it hidden behind a piece of old paper which was glued over it. It was temporarily removed far away since it was so expensive and an heirloom. In session, we were able to access and talk with the part of the person who was trying to protect the object. The alter was able to explain its meaning and power over her and her family. The object was later destroyed.
If you are not sure if something should be totally disposed of, at least store it far away from your home or workplace. You can decide later when you are much stronger and wiser exactly what to do with it. It is powerful to have a trusted friend help you anoint your rooms with oil and pray out loud. Use a favorite verse like Psalm 91 to speak, pray or sing through the house or work place.
If you are not sure if something should be totally disposed of, at least store it far away from your home or workplace. You can decide later when you are much stronger and wiser exactly what to do with it.
In this technological world, there are many flashing lights on machinery which can be triggering. Turn the lights away from your view or throw an attractive cover over them. We often have to pray deliverance over my computer and other machinery. When we do prayer counseling on the telephone, we often encounter unusual static etc. It is uncanny how quickly it clears when we apply the blood of Jesus Christ.
The night hours sometime feel especially more unsafe to much of the population. This is exaggerated for Dissociative Persons. During the night, a small nightlight or soothing soaking worship music can dispel the atmosphere of anxiety. This might also be a good time to play the Bible on CD. I highly recommend the Baby Blessings by Arthur Burke of Sapphire Leadership Group for strengthening your spirit. For years, I have spent much time teaching people how critical it is to get their sleeping rooms pitch black and quiet without any sudden noises in order to have healthy sleep. This is still true for all of you too but establishing a sense of safety is primary and will have to be accomplished first. Many love the comfort and peace the Zephaniah 3:16-17 scripture provides at those times of preparation for sleep at night.
Once during a home assessment, I felt uncomfortably exposed. I asked Holy Spirit what I was experiencing. I realized that the many windows were not provided with window treatments which could cover the windows if desired. Some clients have been threatened that their every move would be known, and they could never escape their tormentors. It would be easy for anyone to look into that home day or night. One could get resistance when they try to cover the windows, but this is an opportune time to meet other parts and to hear their stories.
Certain objects pose as triggers. Certainly we need knives to peel our vegetables and to slice our bread but the number of them could be reduced. Scissors and other potentially injurious tools also could be minimalized for a season of healing.
Be sure to lock your doors. If you move into a new site, have the locks changed. Do this also if an unhealthy relationship has broken up and you are left in the place. Only give keys to very few time-trusted people. Ask your librarian for books on how to make your home/ workplace safe. After you have done the reasonable things to make your environment safe, relax and decide to trust Holy Spirit to alert you and keep you safe. He has awakened us to lock a door or close a window on occasion.
After you have done the reasonable things to make your environment safe, relax and decide to trust Holy Spirit to alert you and keep you safe.
Look at the network of people your deal with regularly. What are their lives saying to you? If people seem unhealthy, dysfunctional, or doubtful, distance yourself from them. If you even have a generally “bad” feeling about them, try to avoid them until you are healthier. You do not have to announce your plan, just do it. If they ask what is going on, never lie because it is an opening for evil access. Simply tell them you are restructuring your life for a season.
If they ask what is going on, never lie because it is an opening for evil access. Simply tell them you are restructuring your life for a season.
The real difficulty often is discerning those closest to you. When you are around them, check your body reactions. Are you dizzy, drowsy or disoriented? This could be due to a “brain bath” of cortisol. Does your heart race or your respiration increase? Is their presence or even the mention of them triggering troubling thoughts or causing body memories? Does any part in you fear or hate this person? Take all that information seriously. Then get input from a trusted therapist or mentor. What are your options? Can you avoid them or meet only in public places?
One client greatly wanted to attend a family reunion. It would be the first time in 30 years the large family of siblings would be together. The problem was that other relatives, including some perpetrators, would probably also be there. We did role plays to help her take a victor role in anticipated situations. For example, she would never ride in another’s automobile, and she would always position herself in a space in order to leave quickly and easily, i.e., sitting on the outside seat of a booth in a restaurant. Her husband was included to recognize signals meaning, “I want to leave.” He agreed to take the lead in such situations.
So many wounded people think they owe others an explanation when they make a change. WRONG. That is co-dependent thinking, but that’s a topic for another time!
Even if this person is very close, you need to listen to yourself and be cautious. If you think your partner or spouse is unsafe, it is important to consider separating until you can be sure of them.
I had been working with a small group of ladies with DID. They were progressing beautifully and so supportive of each other. Then it became obvious to me that the person who would normally seem to be the most likely candidate to be zooming through the healing, was actually stuck! No one knew why. After careful questioning, she revealed that her husband had returned to his old alcoholic addiction and was abusing the family.
It may seem difficult, scary or even impossible to separate, but if you want healing, it may be the best option for the time being.
So many wounded people think they owe others an explanation when they make a change. WRONG.
A certain client started her healing journey for DID at the age of sixty. Finally, she had found someone whom she could trust! Memories of being violated by a group of old men as a child were accessed, and the alter victims no longer “amnesic” to her, were terrified of her white-haired husband. The trusted friends transported her to counseling and supported her at home during the process. They understood. They offered her a small apartment, free-of-charge, over their garage until the “little ones” could be healed and integrated. It was extremely difficult for the couple, but the healing was accomplished.
You are worth rescuing and deserve safety. God wants you to be whole and healthy. You can learn to honor and respect the parts of you who are trying to work on safety.
You are worth rescuing and deserve safety
Make a happy place in your home, even if it is just a corner of a room. Put your favorite snugglees there, pictures and books for all ages, and anything that makes it feel cozy. Write a list of affirmations that comfort you or bring you joy. For example: “I am a big person now. This is a memory and I have already lived through it, today I can protect myself, I will overcome this” … or whatever encourages you.
Make a list of emergency names and numbers. Who can I call if I am frightened? Who can I call for prayer or physical help? What is the number of my counselor or the nearest crisis shelter? Who will let me stay overnight without asking prying questions?
Certain times of the year seem to feel more unsafe. All the major Christian Holidays, Halloween and the Summer and Winter Solstices, and certain moon cycles. Just knowing that can be a way to protect yourself. Anniversaries of certain abuses can also produce a feeling of insecurity. Knowing when they occur during the year can help you plan appropriately to gird yourself up and overcome that date or season of the year rather than cowering in fear of the unknown.
Make a safe place inside too. You are creative; give your mind permission to imagine a beautiful, restful place. Many times we have asked Jesus to construct a safe place inside. It is incredible to hear clients tell us what different alters report about what they see. It is always a delight to them and feels very secure. One alter had a big gym room padded all around with sealed windows high at the ceiling. Another alter in the same person, saw a lovely all-pink room with no doors or windows.
What gives you joy? Put that in your safe place. What keeps evil out? If the Lord Jesus feels safe to you, He can clean out an area and post guards there to protect it. Some of you reading this may not be Christian and Jesus Christ may not be of any significance to you. Others of you may be Christian but there may be parts or alters in you who are terrified and hate Jesus. They were tricked by perpetrators who dressed up like Jesus and did unspeakable things to the children. The purpose, of course, is to condition the person to never be able to trust our pure, loving and gentle Lord Jesus.
Learn how to close any doors or portals of access so that
evil cannot come back.
Learn how to close any doors or portals of access so that evil cannot come back. We will be devoting a whole month to discussion of such tools in the future.
Finally, when we feel unsafe, our body starts to go into the automatic fight or flight response and the stress hormone, cortisol is secreted by the adrenal gland. If we are often unsafe or feeling unsafe, our body is sustained in this unnatural state. High levels of cortisol can do the following:
- Increase blood pressure
- Lead to heart disease
- Decrease muscle tissue
- Decrease bone density
- Impair cognitive performance/thinking
- Decrease thyroid function [99% of my [SSY] DID clients have impaired thyroid function]
- Cause blood sugar imbalances
- Interfere with glucose metabolism
- Decrease immune system function
- Increase the inflammatory responses
- Increase abdominal/belly fat
With all those problems, you probably need to seek medical care sometimes. These experiences are often anticipated to be very unsafe. I [SSY] have had wonderful success helping my clients to prepare for such events. It is absolutely imperative, a must, to educate the medical personnel about the fact that you have experienced significant trauma. It does not matter if the person is a physician, nurse, physical therapist, massage therapist, dentist, or phlebotomist [ you know, the one who draws the blood], it is only fair to them and yourself to take the time at the beginning of the appointment to educate them. We will have more in-depth teaching on exactly how to do this respectfully and factually in the future.
Once you are safe, stress relief techniques can be learned and employed for your benefit and better health. Ask yourself what you need to take care of yourself right now. Help all the parts of you learn about safety and true peace. This is the first step on the road to real healing. We hope this information has been encouraging.